I am…Two words after which we declare our identity. Yet our language contradicts and weakens us as we say things like “I am sick”, or “I am depressed”, or “I am sad”, or “I am fat…weak…overwhelmed”.

We also tell our own kids things like: “You are naughty…being stupid…too much…too emotional” (with the best intentions).

However what this does is it immediately makes a declaration of eternal value over something that is fleeting, bound to and in time. And our mind attaches meaning and beliefs to this and files it in the My Identity folder. And that is why change is so incredibly difficult, because if I am naughty, how then can I also be good? Or if I am fat how dare I loose weight. If I am depressed, then how can I laugh and be joyful? And subsequently we self-sabotage because the greatest job of our mind is to protect us from insanity – we need to survive. This powerful vehicle, our mind, has no distinguishing power. It can only act on what it is told. And what then is more insane than to act in dissonance to what is already filed in the My Identity folder? Therein lies our biggest struggle…

I am Rhonel – my name means that I am strong and mighty. Juneldè’s name means that she is a shining witness to the glory of the Kingdom of God. Juvan’s name declares that God is gracious, merciful and good. And Julius is our warrior, trailblazer and frontrunner. How amazing to know that every time we call someone on their name we declare something over them and confirms their identity. Do you know the meaning of your name?

During coaching I often journey with coachees on language and how we use it and how it makes us feel. If we say instead “I feel sad”…or “I feel depressed”…or “I feel sick” it affirms that this is actionable, timely and small. It is processed completely differently than when we say I Am…When we change our language to “I feel…” our mind perceives this as something that can be acknowledged and immediately feel empowered to do something about. Because as you journey with what is in your My identity folder your mind picks up on these feelings and find that it is in contrast with the I am. Immediately a subconscious process starts where you, powerful soulful wise, YOU, redirects and moves back to the true north authenticity of your I am.

Our children will only benefit if we start today by telling them about who they are. “You are good, respectful, calm, joyous, kind, light, infectious with your being…”This becomes their identity and they absorb these messages so easily as their My Identity folder is still almost empty and susceptible to being filled up. And when needed to discipline rather say ‘I can see that you feel angry, frustrated, sad, confused. I see your tears and kicking and screaming but this is not who you ARE. How can I help you deal with these feelings to get back to the joyful, calm, happy YOU? This behavior is in contrast with who you are…’

A mouthful, I know. Easy? Not at all. Worth it? For sure!

I try my hardest to not talk about Juneldè as BEING disabled. No, she has challenges because she cannot YET speak, eat, walk, laugh…However she is a child of God, she is my and so many other people’s inspiration. She is loved, she brings joy and wisdom and insight. She lifts the veil between body, soul and spirit that I so often get tangled within.

And then there is the One, the great I AM. If you struggle to declutter your My Identity folder – return to his word and fill this folder with the truths of who He says You are. Daily affirmations should become as important as brushing your teeth and presencing a worthy daily habit in order to connect with your feelings before they get wrongly file in the My identity folder.

I am Rhonel, I am who he says I am.

And so are YOU…

**Should this piece prompt you to make 2020 the year for stepping into your true I Am however you realise it’s a conquest easier faced with someone by your side, you are welcome to contact me. As adults our My Identity folder is so filled to the brim that we need to first journey with the unpacking of this folder before we can fill it up with truths and positive declarations. I would be honored to be your coach.

May these songs bless you on your journey!